So Predictable
by Irony12
Summary: Several years after an inexplicable visit to a fortuneteller, Beth Bennet, relationship guru and advice columnist, finds herself strangely attracted to an inconveniently named web master who is not, in fact, her fiancé and refuses to just disappear.
1. Prologue: Do You Believe in Magic

_**So Predictable**_

_Prologue: Do You Believe in Magic_

It was the one spontaneous thing I ever did with my life.

"You come seeking wisdom," she said, her beautiful olive face gazing deeply into the white orb in the center of the table that separated us. The gold bangles on her wrist jingled mysteriously and her earrings glinted in the miniscule light that flickered from the array of oddly scented candles that surrounded us.

I didn't roll my eyes. Although it was a bit of a no brainer what I was there for, I was too concerned with the aforementioned wisdom to care that "Madame Zulu" was most likely a crock.

Madame Zulu held her hand above the glass orb, wriggling her fingers and waving her hand dramatically. "You want to know about your soul mate."

I gasped lightly and my eyes grew wide with shock. How did she know? It suddenly hit me that she probably gets tons of desperate women in here. Like me.

"Y-yes," I stuttered, tripping over my words as per usual. "I-I just want to know his name."

Madame Zulu nodded once and slowly stood from her chair, her dark brown braids tossing around her head and the beads that were twisted with the strands of hair clicked together as she searched through a drawer for her cards.

She sat back down heavily, her beads clicking, her bangles jingling. She was a like a human musical instrument. I sat up a little higher in my dark wooden chair, trying to peer at the dirty old cards as she deftly shuffled them between her fingers.

She looked up at me, then slowly flipped the first card as I waited in anticipation. The first card she flipped was a king of hearts. She raised an eyebrow and looked at me without a word. I opened my mouth to ask her what it meant, but found that I'd lost all words. She quirked a secretive smile and pulled the next card from the center of the deck. It was a jack of spades, and my curiosity was more than piqued.

"What does that mean?" I breathed, still staring at the king of hearts, while the jack sat by unnoticed.

Madame Zulu shook her head slightly and turned a third card. It was a queen of hearts. Zulu picked up the queen and held her before me. "You'll have to make a choice," she said, her rusty voice scratching over the words with sensual ease. "There's the jack and the king, but you can't have them both."

She looked up at me, moving only her eyes while the rest of her body remained statuesque. "You'll have to choose between your heart and your mind," she said touching her chest lightly as she said heart, and brushing her index finger over her temple as she said mind.

She suddenly stood from her seat again and returned to her drawer, rummaging through its contents for something of great importance. My eyes remained trained on the cards, the king of diamonds winking at me from its grimy surface. I had the strange impulse to break out my bottle of antibacterial.

Suddenly, Zulu was back in her seat, smiling mysteriously at me and holding out a crumpled sheet of paper. My eyebrows creased in confusion as I stared unrelentingly at the little ball of paper in her hand.

"Take it," she commanded, impatient but still smiling.

I suddenly snatched the paper from her, but she held tight, her eyes locking with mine. "It's not really a choice. You'll know the right answer all along," she said in that same grainy voice.

I nodded once and took the paper.

Zulu suddenly grinned. "That'll be $22.50."

After rummaging through my purse for the exact cash, I finally exited the dingy room and entered the bright light of the city street. My first impulse was to disinfect, squirting ample amounts of Purell onto my palms.

What a crock that had been. A jack of spades and a king of hearts? Could she have been any more ambiguous? Those weren't even real Tarot cards. Honestly, I don't think I believed a word she'd said. I'd come looking for answers. I left with even more questions.

I reached into my purse again and pulled out the same wrinkled piece of paper. It took me longer than it should have to unfold the paper. My hands were shaking just a tad. When I finally did, I snorted a shock of derisive laughter, and tossed the paper back into my bag.

It was stupid to think that a fortuneteller could give me the name of my soul mate. I paid $22.50 and all I got was a piece of paper with one word written upon it.

_William.

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A/N: So I wrote this prologue forever and a half ago and then forgot about it (and all my other stories apparently... I swear I'm going to try to get back to them! Please, please forgive me!). Then I was going through my desktop to organize all my stories and stuff and while making folders I found this along with a couple of other things I like and would like to put up someday. Well after thinking about it all for about three weeks this was the story I ended up just sitting down and working on. I haven't written much and I don't know how much I'll get to, but I thought I'd leave that up to popular opinion. Do you guys want to hear more? Let me know! I have some crazy stuff up my sleeve for this story.

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	2. Chapter 1: Something Wicked This Way

_**So Predictable**_

"_It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun." _

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

_Chapter 1: Something Wicked This Way Comes_

_Dear Beth,_

_I've had a male best friend since fourth grade. Lately I've been really attracted to him. I think I might be in love with him. We graduate from high school in two weeks and are going to colleges on separate sides of the country. I don't know what to do. Should I tell him or just give up on him? Help!!!!_

_Sincerely,_

_Emma from Uptown_

Beth shook her head and bit her lip at the inspiration for Thursday's column, frowning at the poor girl's predicament. It was a common recurring theme for her letters. Falling in love with one's best friend was a revolving door of issues. Stay away from the guy to get over it, and risk ruining your friendship. Tell him you like him, and risk ruining your friendship. Stay with him and pretend you don't like him, hurt yourself in the process, and, let's face it, ruin your friendship. It's a lose-lose-lose situation. Oh, did she know.

"Beth, can you proofread my column about organic cleaning supplies?"

Beth looked up from her computer to the floating head hovering above the flimsy wall of her cubicle. "Sure, Janie. Just one sec." Beth typed up a few immediate reactions to the issue, saved her Word document and grabbed her coworker's article.

Beth rifled through the column, breezing through it with ease. Jane's articles were always the cleanest grammatical masterpieces. There was only one comma out of place, and Beth counted her prayers that it hadn't been Lydia to ask for help; Beth wasn't sure she would have had the time to read through seemingly endless paragraphs about the clitoris that failed to even use a period correctly.

Before she could finish reading Jane's column, Beth found herself distracted by none other than George Wickham, resident thrill seeker and self-proclaimed "big time" journalist. "Hey there, Bethy," he grinned, flashing his beaming white teeth at her. "Busy?"

Beth suppressed her standard mocking grin before spinning around in her swivel chair and facing the charming Mr. Wickham. "George," she stated, still trying to shove her smile aside and attempting to force herself to glare at him. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I am much too busy and important for the likes of you."

"Oh c'mon, Bethy. You know you're just dying to take off that lovely, lacy thong of yours so I can ravish you in the copy room."

Beth choked on her own laughter. "Yes, George. Just _dying_. In fact, let me just call up Charlie right now and let him know that's it's over between us because I can't control my desire for George Wickham."

"You don't need to do that just yet." George threw up his hands in defeat then pressed the dial tone button on the phone that Beth was pretending to dial. "But I don't know why you won't just admit that you want me already." He shook his head sadly and allowed his eyes to roam jokingly over Beth's tightly crossed legs, running up the seam of her stockings and the arc of her curve-hugging pencil skirt. He immediately shook his head again to remove the image from his brain, then grabbed the arm of a passing coworker. "Lydia, will you tell Bethy here that she needs to dump that loser and let me take her out tonight?"

Lydia turned, ceasing her progression towards her own cubicle and spinning to face George. "Why the fuck would I tell her that?"

George didn't bat an eye at her profanity. He was used to, like the rest of the office, Lydia's crude insistence that the work fuck was the greatest word in the English language and her even greater insistence that she use it in every sentence. "Because I'm exactly what she's looking for in a man," George shot back.

"No actually, you're why God fucking invented vibrators." Lydia flashed him a shit-eating grin, wriggled out of his grasp on her arm, and proceeded briskly towards her cubicle directly next to Jane's.

Beth also grinned at him before they both peeled over in raucous laughter.

"Holy shit, she is crazy," George hissed at her between his own hardly suppressed laughter.

"Beth, did you finish my article?" Jane's floating head asked, popping up above the walls of Beth's cubicle again. "Oh, hello George. How are you?"

"Good," George replied regaining his composure slowly and leaning back lazily against the adjacent wall of Beth's cubicle.

"Any interesting new stories?" she asked.

George shrugged, while Beth replied for him. "Oh don't you know, Janie! George can't share the workings of his next earth-shattering article! He can't share the insider details he's discovered about the Lunch Lady Union."

George cocked his standard grin again. "You mock my work now, but when the Lunch Ladies go on strike we'll see who gets the last laugh."

"You two are so silly." Jane rolled her eyes and directed her attention back to Beth. "Beth, could you have it finished by lunch, the girls are all taking Mary out for her birthday and then I'd like to call it a day. I have a date!" she exclaimed excitedly with a thumbs up in Beth's direction.

"Yeah sure, Janie."

As Jane's head sunk back down behind the walls, George burst into another round of laughter. "Dude, you are so her bitch."

"They can hear you," Beth hissed, standing from her chair to hit him over the shoulder as he hunched over, and began to push him from her cubicle. "Now I have work to do, if you don't mind."

George grinned one more time, pecked her on the cheek and headed down the hall with his hands raised in victory that he'd managed to escape before she could slap him again in retribution for the kiss.

Beth bit her lip and refused to allow herself to watch his beautiful butt as he strutted down the hall. She quickly shook the thought from her mind and settled herself back at her computer. She bit her lip again and studied the question she'd been staring at all morning before she began to type a response.

_Dear Emma,_

_Run. Run far, far away._

She grinned and wished she could just send that to press. Truth be told, she was just as clueless as everyone else on this issue. What the fuck does one do in such a situation? It was the thirtieth time already that week that she wished like hell she could just switch columns with one of her fellow female writers.

The ladies the advice section New Orleans Daily were the buzz of Jefferson Parish for almost a year. Their five columns split up every aspect of a woman's life, offering advice on everything from lip-gloss to multiple orgasms. Each of the five women controlled their own column, with their own separate areas of expertise and thus answered every question the women of New Orleans, and their growing numbers in all of Southern Louisiana, might have. They had been dubbed "The Fantastic Five" of advice.

Beth had begrudgingly taken on the issue of relationships as a mere default because she, admittedly, was at a loss with all the other topics. Although if she were being truly honest, she had the creeping suspicion that she was total crap when it came to the issue of love as well. In fact, this wasn't even news to her. She'd known all along that she was totally bonkers regarding issues of the heart. Her longest relationship before Charlie had been a grand total of two weeks during her senior year of college! So she just happened to be engaged to a great man, that didn't mean she knew anything about relationships. She just got really, really lucky. But her editor had refused to accept her refusal to take the column. _Every young woman needs advice about relationships, it's your job to look at them and tell them they're being total idiots_, her editor had told her. She'd wanted to punch her.

_Relationships._ The word rolled around her mouth with the taste of black licorice. Sure she was in one. And it was really, really good. And she was going to marry Charlie and live happily ever after. _But still..._ There wasn't a single word she could think of to follow that phrase. But still what? But still she was holding on to silly schoolgirl fantasies and a distant and faded memory of some stupid crock fortuneteller she'd visited during a particularly lonely point during college. _William! _She thought. _William my ass! _She'd dated a William briefly only to find he was stark-raving crazy and she was even more so for being with him. She'd stopped then, stopped trying to force a self-fulfilling prophecy and promised only to date with true affection.

And boy did she have true affection for Charlie Bingley! How could she not? He was everything a girl could want.

"Ready for lunch, Bethy?" her tiny coworker, Katie, asked, wrapping a light scarf around her neck as she stood in the doorway of Beth's cubicle.

Beth smiled at one of her fellow female advice columnist, and saved her document. It was remarkable to her how well suited each of her fellow columnists were for their respective subject areas. Katie, the 110 pound blond that could bench-press Beth, was Beauty and Fitness. Jane, Beth's best friend and by far the most adorable creature on the planet, was in charge of Fashion and Home. Lydia, the crude and outright sexual being, was in charge of Sex and Health. Mary, the quiet and bookish one, was assigned to Culture, Arts, and Entertainment. And Beth… Beth was in way over her head. _But really,_ she thought, _what is one supposed to do with Relationships, Love and All Other Things That Thoroughly Fuck Women Up?_

"What's with the scarf, Katie?" Beth asked tugging on the young woman's accessory. "It's hot as balls outside."

Katie shrugged. "I choose to suffer in the name of fashion."

"Great we'll use the scarf to mop you up once you melt. You should know by now not to go up against New Orleans' weather in the summer. It will take you down." Beth wrapped her arm over the shoulder of little Katie and the two of them met up with their three other counterparts.

Mary led them wordlessly from their building and through the city streets to her chosen location for lunch, a small sketchy place off Decatur that she just happened to be researching for her next column. The rest of the girls felt slightly sorry for Mary; her assigned topic required hours of research concerning the greatest places to eat, party and just chill. This demanded that Mary go see countless movies, eat at countless restraunts and see countless museum exhibits in order to ensure that she was always ahead of the entertainment curve. The rest of the ladies could always bullshit a last minute column if time demanded it, but Mary, Mary would be screwed. She'd received countless tons of shit from their editor after a last minute column suggesting Monopoly Madness as enjoyable Friday night entertainment.

Needless to say, the other four women trusted Mary completely with their choice of location. If anyone were to know the best places, it was Mary. Plus, Beth had long since had a theory that there wasn't a single food-joint in all of Jefferson Parish that didn't serve the best food she'd ever come across.

They had hardly settled at their table and gotten their drink orders in (a Bloody Mary for Beth, a Cosmo for Katie, a Screwdriver—"Because every girl needs a good screw!"—for Lydia, a Captain and Coke for Mary, and a Sweet Tea for Jane) before they were joined unexpectedly by none other than the domineering presence of their Editor, a Ms. Franny Brennon.

"Ladies!" the woman squealed rushing over to the women and greeting them each with a highly uncomfortable hug. "What a small world," she gushed, now squealing into Beth's ear. "What brings you ladies to such a _wonderful_ establishment?"

Even Jane winced at her grandiose use of the word "wonderful". She got under the skin of each of the five women on principle alone. Beth hated her for assigning her such a dreadful topic ("I was hoping to write about politics, not whether you're allowed to give oral on a first date!"). Katie hated her for her dreadful skill with eyeliner and ability to use too much blush on an everyday basis. Mary winced every time she heard her high-pitched voice that made her want to drown herself in a nice, quiet bubble bath. Jane—nice, gentle Jane—couldn't stand the woman's inability to respect her personal space. Lydia… actually Lydia was oddly impressed by Ms. Brennon. She called her "a goddess of sexual enlightenment."

"Ms. Brennon!" Lydia squeaked back. "What a happy coincidence!"

Ms. Brennon grabbed a chair from a nearby table and plopped herself right down between Mary and Jane at the table. Four of the five girls suppressed audible groans.

"I'm actually quite overjoyed that I've found all five of you in the same location!" she gushed, squeezing Jane lovingly on her shoulder.

Beth laughed into her napkin as Jane almost wiggled out of her chair to escape the woman's grasp. "Why? What's up?"

Ms. Brennon's face lit up. "I have the greatest gossip for you girls! This is _positively_ serendipitous!"

"Excellent." Katie had been won over at the first mention of the word "gossip" and was leaning clear across the table to hear it.

"I'm so _positively _glad that you five will be the first to hear. You're like my prized horses! The Fantastic Five!" She gripped Jane's arm this time and Jane let out a barely audible whimper. "Oh this is so exciting!"

"Out with it!" Katie almost snapped, caught up in her eagerness to get the low-down.

"Okay," Ms. Brennon said with a grin. "Netherfield Press is going online at last!"

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the typos Sophie1670. I knew It was Jefferson Parish, but I had a huge brainfart. Fixed it though!


	3. Chapter 2: You Had Me At Hello

_**So Predictable**_

"_For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." _

_-Judy Garland_

_Chapter 2: You Had Me At Hello_

"I can't believe he's getting married."

William Darcy looked up from his book—Dan Brown, as if any symbologist's life would be even half as exciting—and let his eyes graze lazily over his companion's long, slightly orangish legs. "Well, Caroline, you'd better believe it," he muttered then shoved his face promptly back into his book.

He heard her snort, perturbed yet again by his astounding ability to completely block her out and snub her. Caroline Bingley was not one to be ignored, and made this fact perfectly clear on far too many occasions for her poor boss, a one William Darcy, to count. She crossed her arms and pouted while said boss pretended not to notice.

True to form, Caroline was not the most patient of girls. She was crammed in a tiny airplane, surrounded by (in her opinion) the most vile and common people, and a rather attractive boss that refused to pay attention to her, what else was she to do but talk about her ridiculous brother? "But really, Will!" she burst out, unable to contain her tirade any longer. "He's just up and marrying some chit! We don't even know her. _He_ doesn't even know her! They've only been together for like a month."

"Six months, Caroline," Will replied, without taking his eyes off the page, his irritation beginning to show as he read the same sentence for the third time.

"What?" she snapped, confused at his interruption.

Will pressed his thumb to the sentence he was still on and looked up at her, his face stony to prevent his frustration from showing. Caroline was still his employee as well as his best friend's younger sister, and he knew how frigid she could be if he pissed her off. "They've been together for _six_ months, Caroline," he said as if talking to a child. "And if Charlie wants to get married, then Charlie wants to get married. When has anything we've ever said stopped Charlie from doing what he wanted?"

Caroline attempted to throw her hands up in defeat, but merely smashed her finger on the roof of the plane. She pulled her limbs back in close to her, whimpering in pain and disgust at the tiny aircraft. "I hate this stupid plane!" she squealed in frustration, finally reaching her breaking point. People around the pair of them began to stare, and Will finally put his book away, coming to terms with the fact that Caroline would never give him a moment's peace.

"What's wrong, Caroline?" he sighed, finally giving in to her constant need for attention.

"I just don't want to go back to that stupid city with its dinky airport and its ten thousand tourists! I want to go somewhere glamorous and fun like New York or LA or Paris! You know, somewhere that doesn't turn my hair into a 'fro every time I go outside. Why are we even going there?"

Will took a deep breath and ran his hands quickly through his messy, dark tufts of hair. "First of all, this is our job and if our job demands that we spend time in the coldest parts of Wisconsin during the winter, we do it. So if our job also demands we return to the location of our rather traumatizing childhoods, we do that too.

"Second of all, your brother, and my best friend, is getting married. I'd at least like to meet the woman he plans to spend the rest of his life with. Plus, I kind of miss my best friend.

"Third of all, we're not 'going', Caroline. We're already gone."

Will reopened his book, thinking the conversation was over.

"God Will, you make our job sound so epic. All we do is dink around with computers all day."

Will briefly contemplated hitting her, but was saved from actual action by the ding of the intercom and the sound of the captain's voice preparing the cabin for landing.

A mere twenty minutes later, the pair of them thanked their lucky stars to be back on the ground again; Caroline because she was beginning to hyperventilate in that tiny plane, and Will because he was beginning to hyperventilate at the sound of Caroline's voice.

They both crossed the terminal of Louis Armstrong International, their rolly-suitcases clicking along the tile floor behind them.

"I'll bet she's a real monster," Caroline was muttering, her mind racking through possibilities for her future sister-in-law while Will tried incessantly to tune her out by mentally humming a Beatles song. "She's probably just after his money. I'll bet she turns my old room into a personal gym."

"That's nice, Caroline," Will replied instinctively, having no idea what he was responding to.

Caroline, however, had long since grown used to Will's non-sequiturs. Truth be told, she rarely listened to him either. She was normally too caught up in the (self-proclaimed) melodic sound of her own voice.

"Or worse, Will, " she continued. "She could be _ugly_!"

Will rolled his eyes, unable to block out the volume in which Caroline had spat her last word. "Well, it looks as if we'll just have to wait and find out," Will replied with a grin, spotting his friend trying to hide from a curb-attendant demanding he move his car, and darting away from Caroline to greet him.

After the formal hellos had been hastily exchanged while the curb attendant scowled at them from a distance, the newly reunited group hopped into Charlie Bingley's green Honda Pilot and quickly peeled out of the arrivals ramp before Charlie could be yelled at again.

"So how have you been?" Will asked, raking his hands through his hair again and watching closely as the grin spread quickly across the face of his blond best friend.

"Good," he laughed, drawing out the word and thus adding to affect his grin created in his companions.

"Oh, god, you're positive disgusting," Caroline snorted derisively.

"I'm not disgusting. I'm in love, dear Caroline," Charlie replied, meeting eyes with his similarly blond sister in his rearview mirror.

Caroline raised an eyebrow. "And here I was just hoping you were smoking copious doses of crack. I would honestly have found you far less repulsing had that been the case."

Charlie stuck out his tongue at her.

"Real mature," she snorted, sticking her nose high into the air.

"I don't know how you put up with her, Will." Charlie laughed at his sister's rather predictable reaction to his childish antics.

Will had to force his assent that he too had no idea how he put up with Caroline out of his mind. He decided it was best to change the subject instead. "So where's your lady?"

"Working." Charlie was grinning obnoxiously again. Will too was suddenly feeling entirely too close to puking out his guts, but he blamed that on the strong scent of Caroline's overused perfume permeating the car.

"What's she like?" Will followed up.

"Beth? She's great, Will. Utterly amazing, actually." Charlie drummed his fingernails on the steering wheel, suddenly pulling the car towards the left lane and narrowly missing a passing semi-truck. He chuckled nervously, laughing off his near collision and returning to the subject at hand. "I think you'll really like her."

Will caught his friend's eye briefly before Charlie shifted his gaze back to the road. There was something different about him. Something had changed and Will couldn't quite put his finger on what.

"She's really funny and outgoing," Charlie continued. "She'll really make an immediate impression." Charlie was still grinning, but the smile spread even further at the thoughts running through his mind about his betrothed. "She's the most captivating person I've ever met in my life.

But don't just take my word for it, you'll both be meeting her tonight at our engagement party."

And there it was, at the word "engagement" Charlie's entire face lit up and Will finally figured out what was so different about his oldest friend. Perhaps all that had changed about Charlie Bingley was that he was really and truly happy.

* * *

Will Darcy looked in Charlie's mirror for about the millionth time. He combed his fingers through his hair, tilted his head to the side, and loosened his tie. Then he tightened his tie. Then he decided to forgo the tie, pulling it off quickly and tossing it onto Charlie's guest bed while gasping for air as if he'd been strangled.

He then wondered what the hell was wrong with him.

Why did he feel so anxious? Why was he going crazy, pacing his guest room in Charlie's house as if he would die as soon as his feet stopped moving? Why had he altered his outfit eight times? _Eight times!_ He was beginning to feel like a chick. He wondered briefly if this was due to spending too much time with Caroline.

"Pull yourself together, man," he muttered into his reflection, unbuttoning the collar of his crisp blue shirt. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

If Will were being truly honest with himself, he would be able to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with him. Will Darcy had a feeling. He grinned at the ambiguity of that statement. _A feeling._ He felt as if he was having one of his infamous wishy-washy moments. No, no he was a man of business and businessmen have little time in their schedules for such nonsense as feelings. Will had always preferred hard facts anyway.

But still he had a feeling. It raked through him. It ate him up inside. He wished he had a word to describe it, but he feared that there wasn't one exactly. It was just a feeling. A feeling that something big was about to happen.

He pulled his hands through his hair again and took a deep breath, fearing he was going crazy. He went to the bathroom and splashed water on his face, hoping to awaken his sense of composure. He must have left his composure back in Chicago because he didn't feel any better. Now, to top it all off, he was also dripping wet.

He toweled himself off quickly, rushed into his room to change his shirt, then hastily left his room before he could think twice about it. Sometimes, when faced with gut-wrenching self-doubt, Will found it was best to just plow forward head-on.

He rushed down the stairs and before he knew it was in a crowded house of people he had never met. He took a deep breath. It was going to be a long night. He figured it was best to just start drinking immediately.

By the time Will had located the bar and mixed himself a Scotch and Soda he was once again fighting the fear that something momentous was about to happen. He couldn't help it, it was instinctive and, to be perfectly honest, not entirely discomfiting. Just the opposite in fact. In a weird way this _feeling_ was oddly _comforting_. It sent foreign sparks of warmth shooting through his body. It was as if he was being wrapped up in the world's softest fabric, and Will hugged the fabric close while simultaneously trying to shrug it off.

He took a long sip on his drink, watching a brunette in a black dress out of his peripheral vision while Caroline Bingley made her way towards him like a lioness stalking her prey.

"It's just so quant isn't it?" she asked with a patronizing grin, sidling up to him and positioning herself beside him on the wall he'd been leaning on as he nursed his drink and watched the back of the brunette's head as she spoke in a hushed but forceful whisper to two twittering bottle-blonds. "Wasn't it just so nice of my brother to invite the most horrific group of rednecks he could find to his engagement party? I swear, there's no way we're related."

"Yeah, the people seem great," he replied automatically, yet again not really listening.

Caroline grinned, mistakenly thinking he was agreeing with her through sarcasm. She continued to rant against the guests, picking particularly on the same pair of blonds he'd briefly noted talking to the brunette.

Will continued to blatantly ignore her, watching the back of the girl's head and suppressing the fleeting urge to introduce himself. He feared he would just make an idiot of himself. Plus he'd only seen the back of her head and didn't want to arouse her interest in him when it was highly possible that she was some sort of hideous creature. He told himself not to be stupid, but still the urge to meet her remained. She was oddly magnetic and had the two blonds hackling like hyenas as if she had just told the world's funniest joke.

It suddenly occurred to him that he could ask Charlie to casually introduce him to the girl.

"Where is your brother?" Will asked out of nowhere, his eyes still glued to the girl, interrupting Caroline without even noticing.

Caroline seemed highly offended. "As if I'd know."

Will shrugged, took a long swig from his drink and began to walk away. "I think I'll go find him then."

Caroline looked as if she wanted to scratch his eyes out. Will failed to notice. He was already halfway into the kitchen hoping to find Charlie. He found his friend quickly, laughing with a bearded man in the corner of the dining room.

"Oh Will, there you are," Charlie cheered between his own chuckles concerning whatever it was the man had said. "I'd like you to meet Beth's dad. This is Mr. Bennet."

The bearded man, Mr. Bennet, winked and grinned at Will before reaching over to shake Will's hand. Will found it odd that the gesture was oddly comforting.

"It's nice to meet you. Are you anything like your daughter?" Will asked, hoping to find some clues about Charlie's still unknown girlfriend.

Mr. Bennet laughed. "She'd like to think so, but I still maintain that I got the looks in the family. Not to mention the animal magnetism," he joked.

"Keep telling yourself that, old man," Charlie joked back. "Although he's obviously right about the looks."

Will briefly wondered if Caroline was right about the betrothed being a real dog, but before the fear could grip him further both Charlie and Mr. Bennet were peeled over in laughter at the look on Will's face.

"Sorry, Will," Charlie gasped between more laughter. "You just looked so horrified. I forgot you haven't met Beth yet."

Before Will had time to tell Mr. Bennet goodbye, Charlie was eagerly dragging Will across his house back towards the room where Will had just been with Caroline. He dragged Will right up to the same group of women he'd been watching just minutes before, kissing his girl briefly on the cheek.

"Bethy, I want you to meet my best friend since grade school."

With those words, the brunette finally turned to face Will, the skirt of her dress twirling as she spun. Her heart-shaped face glowed with a beaming, magnetic smile. Her eyes shone with the twinkle of mischief and intelligence. Her long, brown hair was tossed over her tanned, soft shoulders. Her skin looked as soft and as touchable as silk and he wanted so badly to make contact with that kind of perfection. Will suddenly felt as if that warm feeling from earlier had spread through his entire body, as if he could feel all the blood in his body pounding through his loudly thumping heart.

And his world just kind of stopped.

"Beth, this is William." Charlie placed a sweet, but brief kiss on the brunette's lips. "Will, this is the girl I'm going to marry. This is Beth."

And just like that, Will knew he was going to be in a lot of trouble.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! A lot of you were pretty upset about Beth's engagement to Charlie. A lot of you thought it was a typo. Sorry to say that it's not, but you see why, right? I told you I had some stuff up my sleeve. Please don't hate me, it's just a new twist on something classic. You know, just trying to keep things fresh! Are you at least slightly interested???? C'mon, maybe just a little?


	4. Chapter 3: While You Were Sleeping

_**So Predictable**_

"_I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." _

**-Mother Teresa**

Chapter 3: While You Were Sleeping

Beth Bennet grinned at Jane from over the cusp of her yogurt container. "So how was the date?"

Jane scowled back at her and slammed the refrigerator in their break room angrily, unable to find her own lunch. "I think Lydia stole my lunch again," she grumbled, pushing her curly blond hair out of her eyes and falling heavily into the chair beside Beth's. "Today has been absolutely miserable."

Beth winced for her best friend's sake. "I take it the date wasn't so great then?"

Jane looked at her skeptically, tracing patterns on the plastic table they sat at. "Dude, he wore a Wife Beater to Delmonico."

"A Wife Beater?" Beth winced for the poor man's sake. Every man should know how to dress up for a first date at a nice restaurant; somewhere Emeril, the restaurant's famous owner, was feeling his heart breaking. "It could have been worse," Beth amended, trying to be reassuring as Jane dropped her head pathetically onto the table. "They've been pretty chill about their dress code since Katrina."

Jane looked up sadly. "It was worse. He had a fu Manchu."

Beth winced again, this time for Jane's sake. "That's almost appalling."

Jane groaned and began to rub her temples in frustration. "I give up, Bethy! There are absolutely no good men left in this entire city!"

"Sure there are, Jane." Beth began to pat Jane reassuringly on her back, forgetting momentarily that Jane wasn't really into personal contact before Jane squirmed out of her reach. "I mean, look at Charlie. He's great. And if a knockout like you can't find someone, then I will personally abdicate Charlie to you instead."

Jane laughed. "I don't think Charlie would agree. That poor guy is crazy about you."

Beth grinned. "Yeah, that or just plain crazy. The jury is still out."

Jane laughed, knowing with all sincerity that Beth was merely joking. She groaned again, wishing her libido and ticking maternal clock would just disappear so she could use what little energy she had left after work to write a book or help starving children, or anything really that would be more productive than moaning over men. "If I were writing in to your column, Beth, what would you tell me then?" Jane asked, looking up at her friend hopefully.

Beth shrugged and wracked her mind quickly. "I suppose I'd tell you to ask a friend to set you up."

"That's brilliant!" Jane announced.

Beth looked at her doubtfully. "Jane, last time Lydia set you up you thought you got syphilis."

Jane winced. "Yeah, what a perv." She shook the memory out of mind then focused on the idea at hand. "No Bethy, _you_ could set me up."

"I don't know any men. Besides Charlie and Wickham."

"My point exactly!" Jane exclaimed again. "Doesn't Charlie have _any_ single friends?"

Beth suddenly found her thoughts, for about the tenth time that day, hovering over the name of Charlie's best friend. William Darcy. She'd laughed when she'd first heard it, recalling old memories involving a fortuneteller. But she was too nervous about meeting the man in question to think too much on the coincidental name. He was Charlie's best friend, and to say that Beth was terrified to meet him for the first time was an understatement. Will was flying somewhere over the country with Charlie's sister, every minute inching closer to meeting her and, she feared, disapproving of her entirely.

Beth hated that she was so nervous to meet the man. Sure she could be friendly enough with a perfect stranger, divulging too much information to baristas and tourists all across the city, but for some reason knowing that Will Darcy _had _to like her made her clam up in nerves. What if he didn't? What if Charlie decided he couldn't marry her based on the opinion of his friend? Now, adding Jane wanting to be set up with him; Beth feared this man would be the cause of far too much trouble in her life.

"No Janie, please don't put me in that position," she begged Jane.

Jane looked entirely too crestfallen for Beth to bear. "Ok fine," she conceded. "I might be able to _introduce_ you to a friend of his at the engagement party, but I make no promises beyond that."

"Promises about what?" Lydia asked, striding painfully into the room in her four-inch stilettos.

"Jane wants me to set her up with a friend of Charlie's," Beth replied.

Lydia chucked superiorly. "Jane I have two fucking words for you." She grinned and counted the words off on her fingers, emphasizing each syllable. "Detachable showerhead."

* * *

Beth picked up her car in the lot immediately after finishing her column, and rushed down I-10 in order to get ready at her house for her engagement party. She thanked god she'd made it out of work early enough to beat the traffic and make it home with enough time to make sure her father was making himself presentable instead of watching TiVo'd episodes of _Jeopardy_ that he'd already memorized all the answers to. She smiled at her father's eccentricity as she pulled into her driveway and entered the house to find her father doing just that.

She hit the old man with a throw pillow and told him to get up off his "wrinkly, old arse and try to look less like a hobo begging for cash off Canal".

"If the Olsen twins can sport the beggar look, why can't the old man?" he asked standing up begrudgingly. "Trying to fault me for being hip," he grumbled as he trudged off to his room in his worn-out bunny slippers and Beth raced upstairs to iron her favorite black dress.

"We're going for presentable here, Daddy," she shouted as she rushed around the house gathering items for her own preparation. "That means I don't want to come down these stairs to find you wearing anything neon."

Chuck Bennet chuckled to himself as he pulled out the same pair of dress slacks he'd worn to Beth's first communion.

"And nothing that clings to you like spandex!" he heard her shout across the house. "You're not a size 32 anymore, Daddy."

Mr. Bennet checked the size of his pants, and rolled his eyes at his daughter's ability to slander his self-proclaimed good taste. He tossed the old slacks aside and grabbed the pair Beth had bought him for Christmas instead.

He managed to find a presentable outfit in record timing then sniffed each of his armpits, applied ample amounts of deodorant, wet his hair, and combed it back slickly. Beth met him, still rushing about the house looking for her deceased mother's pearl earrings. She kissed him briefly before wincing. "Geez, Daddy, you smell like you rubbed an Old Spice ad in a magazine all over yourself!" She shoved him gently back towards his room with orders to "wash that horrid scent off and do something somewhat less dated to your hair."

Mr. Bennet, even after making the mandatory changes, still found himself waiting for his daughter on the sofa for a solid half-hour before she descended the stairs, just in time to make it to her party fashionably late.

"Also referred to as The Second Revolutionary War, or Mr. Madison's War."

"What is The War of 1812, Alec?"

Beth chuckled as she watched her father supply the question as if addressing the host personally. "You know he can't hear you, right Daddy?"

Mr. Bennet paused _Jeopardy_. "You do know you're going to see Charlie, not the Queen, right Bethy?" he shot back, matching her tone exactly.

"Don't be a smartass," she advised, slinging her purse over her shoulder and opening the door for him.

"I might say the same to you, Missy."

* * *

Beth and her father did arrive at Charlie's house fashionably late, (which, as Ms Brennon would say was "positively _un_fashionable when one was the hostess") but Beth still found time to set her father up for a lovely (and hopefully, very non-threatening) chat with Charlie, have a drink or two to quell her nerves, and greet the vast majority of the guests.

She was in the midst of retelling of an epic story concerning a particularly "shwasted" Mardi Gras in which she'd elbowed a nine-year-old boy in the face in order to catch a feather boa off of a float at the Endymion parade to Lydia and Katie, when she felt Charlie come up behind her and kiss her briefly on the cheek.

"Bethy, I want you to meet my best friend since grade school."

Beth took a deep breath and prepared herself for the highly influential meeting that was about to take place, before turning away from her twittering co-workers and facing the man that just so happened to control her fate.

Once she was finally facing William Darcy (_The _William Darcy, she should say) Beth suddenly found all the air in her body quickly slip out of her lungs. Her eyes grew wide in an emotion that mingled utter terror and awe into one seamless loose-lipped smile.

She bit down the sensation racing through her stomach, the tumult of either nausea or bliss. Beth couldn't tell anymore. Everything she felt suddenly seemed like a paradoxical contradiction. His eyes were both warm and guarded. His smile was friendly and tight. His tousled hair was both messy and perfect. He was simultaneously gorgeous and terrifying. Beth suddenly wondered if she was the contradiction, or was it him? As their eyes met, there hardly seemed to be a difference between the two.

Oh god, she was confused. And dizzy. Very, very dizzy.

"Beth, this is William." Charlie placed a sweet, but brief kiss on her cheek. Like a bucket of icy water, it quickly re-awakened her senses to reality. "Will, this is the girl I'm going to marry. This is Beth."

When she looked back into the eyes of William Darcy, there was no depth, no spinning sensation, just dark, brown circles hovering between his darkened and guarded brow. What had just happened?

"Nice to meet you," he muttered darkly, jabbing out a stiff hand at her. She shook it with dread, fearing the sensation the contact might have on her. She found herself slightly disappointed (although, surely not, her brain screamed at her) when all she felt was the rough clasp of his icy fingers.

"And you," she whispered back, still too confused and terrified to achieve any other response.

There was a long, deep silence while Darcy studied the carpet and both Beth and Charlie studied him curiously. Charlie finally broke the tension. "So Beth, I'll bet if you get Will particularly drunk tonight he'll tell you the story of the time we went gator hunting in the bayou with a couple of rednecks."

Beth smiled at her sweet, polite fiancé and grabbed his hand in reassurance. "That sounds great, honey. I'd love to hear it."

Charlie kissed her on the cheek for a third time. "Will, want me to get you another drink?" before beginning to turn away from them in order to permit them an opportunity to forge a better acquaintance without his intrusion.

Beth observed closely as Will unbuttoned a button on his shirt, coughed uncomfortably, before calling after Charlie that he'd accompany him to get that drink, and leaving Beth standing alone in his wake, once again wondering what the hell had happened.

"Is that the fucking best man?" Lydia asked, leaning away from Katie to whisper in Beth's ear. "Isn't there some sort of tradition that says the best man sleep with at least one bridesmaid? I'll be willing to take the fucking bullet on this one."

Both ladies watched the tall, dark, mysterious man wander off with peculiar (although in Lydia's case, she'd own that they were "very fucking arousing") sensations running through each of them.

* * *

Beth took a long drag on her Rum and Coke. The night had worn on quickly and her eyes were heavy with exhaustion from the long week that had preceded her weekend. She didn't want to sound ungrateful, but she was looking forward to the party ending.

"Are you ok?" a skeptical, and somewhat snotty female voice asked from behind her. Beth turned to face Charlie's sister, staring at her dubiously.

Beth grinned and held onto the wall to stop herself from swaying. "Oh Caroline, yes I'm fine."

Caroline was still staring at her with uncertainty. "Are you drunk?"

Beth tried to keep her eyes open, but instead found herself smiling lazily and leaning against a nearby wall to doze slightly. "Just a tad," she yawned. "It was a long night."

Suddenly Caroline grinned and took a long swig of her own drink. "Good god, my brother is marrying an alcoholic," she teased. Beth couldn't tell if she was being facetious or condescending. She leaned further into the wall and decided not to care.

"I'm not drunk. Just sleepy."

Caroline rolled her eyes and shook her head before grabbing Beth on her upper arm and hoisting her off the wall. "Whatever you say, Drunky." She wrapped her arm around Beth's waist and began to lead her future sister-in-law up the stairs to an unoccupied guestroom. "I swear my brother doesn't appreciate me nearly enough for how much I sacrifice for this family," she muttered as she hauled Beth up the stairs and threw her with all her remaining effort onto the bed.

"I like you, Caroline," Beth muttered. "You wanna know why I like you?"

Caroline placed her hands on her hips and stared down at the half-sleeping woman. "Why?"

Beth sat up as far as her aching muscles would allow without protest. "Because you're beautiful and spunky, and you _know_ it." Beth snapped her fingers three times, forming a Z in front of her in mid air. "Work. It. Girl," she said, pronouncing each word with each respective snap before peeling over in a fit of giggles.

Caroline rolled her eyes and laughed to herself as Beth fell back onto the pillows. She walked out of the room, refusing to admit to herself that she liked Beth too.

* * *

Beth found herself being awakened in the dead of the night by two supposedly hushed voices. She looked around the room, unable to distinguish anything until her eyes adjusted to the dark. With relief, she recognized the room in Charlie's house and wondered briefly how she'd ended up there before her thoughts came rushing back to her. In the dark of the night she groaned internally at her embarrassing speech to her future sister-in-law.

Her mind did not dwell on her mortification for long though, for but a few moments later she found herself distracted by a voice that was distinctly Charlie's uttering her name just outside her door.

"So what did you think of Beth?"

"What do you mean, what did I think of her?"

Beth rifled though her brain trying to place the owner of the second voice when her mind landed on the only logical choice: William Darcy.

"C'mon, Will. Tell me what you thought."

"She seemed"—cough—"interesting."

"Interesting? Could you think of a more enigmatic response? What'd you really think?"

There was a long pause followed by a deep and drawn out intake of breath before Will replied. "She's not what I thought she'd be."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just don't think she's right for you."

Beth frowned into the darkness of her room. Why wasn't she right for Charlie? Was there something wrong with her?

"What?" Charlie asked, sounding decidedly dumbstruck.

"I just… don't think she's good enough for you."

_Ouch_, Beth thought, mentally wincing and trying to convince herself to stop listening and fall back asleep before her pride was wounded any further.

"You... What?" Beth supposed Charlie was too dumbstruck to respond.

"I'm sorry man. I just… I can't see it working out. Are you sure she's the one?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," Charlie bit back, his voice highly edged with sudden malicious anger. "Goodnight, Will," he muttered sounding highly disappointed before Beth heard his quick tread across the wooden floors heading back towards his own room.

"Damn it," the voice outside her door muttered to itself. "What the hell did you get yourself into, Will?"

Beth squeezed her eyes shut and hoped like hell that this was all just a horrible dream.

* * *

After sneaking out of Charlie's house, early the next morning and spending the remainder of her weekend dodging Charlie's calls, Beth decided to do like Lydia and "just get the fuck over it".

She strutted into work at her normal time on Monday, determined to put the entire overheard conversation behind her and move forward with her relationship with Charlie. Who gave a shit about Will Darcy anyway? Besides her fiancé, that was…

"Beth!" she heard her name float across the street and looked up to see Jane rushing to catch up with her as she raced across the street narrowly avoiding an Escalade. "I'm so glad I caught you," she panted, hunching over to catch her breath while Beth stood staring at her in awe like a street performer.

"You okay there, Jane?" she asked holding open the door while Jane regained her breath and led the way into their building. "I see that gym membership is really paying off."

Jane smacked her playfully on the arm. "Shut it," she wheezed before gulping down a few more mouthfuls of air and getting to the issue at hand while they waited on the elevator. "You completely forgot to introduce me to Charlie's friend on Friday," she scolded as the doors swung open.

Beth winced and tried to hide her unease, pressing the button for their floor in hopes of avoiding eye contact. "Oh, I completely forgot," she feigned.

"Bull," Jane whispered then mentally scolded herself for almost swearing. Beth wondered if she weren't some sort of saint.

"Sorry, Jane. I got a bit out of hand on Friday."

Jane shook her head disapprovingly. "Well do you think we could give it another go or am I starting to seem desperate?"

Beth didn't want to reply that she was in fact getting a bit desperate, but was saved from having to lie as the doors swung open onto their floor and they both marched straight towards their cubicles. Before they could make it, however, they were corralled into their meeting room by a fidgeting Ms. Brennon, who quickly announced to the present staff members the reason for her meeting.

"I'm just _over the moon_ that I get to be the one to introduce you to this utterly _divine_ and _sensational_ adjustment to our team. These are the _celestial_ minds that will be putting our entire enterprise online!" She gushed to the room at large while Beth and Wickham shared wide-eyed repressed smiles across the room and feigned fainting to each other. "I'd like to introduce you all to our new web master, William Darcy, and his assistant, Caroline Bingley. They'll be in charge of our transition onto the _wondrous_ world wide web!"

With those words, William Darcy spun around in his chair to face the room full of New Orleans Daily staff members and Beth Bennet felt her heart sink into the cement floor.

"Never mind, Beth," Jane whispered, nudging her in the side and staring wide-eyed at the subject of the entire room's fascination, Will Darcy. Jane bit her lip and her entire face lit up in lust, rapture and determination. "I don't need to meet Charlie's friend anymore. I've got something else in mind."

* * *

A/N: As you're starting to see this is almost more like an alternate universe. I wanted to do something a bit more original so I have taken a fair share of liberties. A lot of characters aren't going to be playing the same roles in the same fashion so don't think you've got anyone pegged just yet. (Although trust me that I won't do anything appalling like have Jane run off with Wickham!) They'll surprise you yet! I told you I had a lot up my sleeve, but you can see the story starting to take shape, ya? I hope you guys are enjoying it because I'm enjoying your reviews. Thanks everyone!


	5. Chapter 4: Awkward Encounters of the

_**So Predictable**_

"The best feelings are those that  Have no words to describe them."

-Michelle Hammersley

_Chapter 4: Awkward Encounters of the Female Kind_

Watching Jane Benson flirt, in Will Darcy's opinion, was one of the most painful things he had ever witnessed. The sentiment was more than doubled by the fact that it was _him_ that seemed to be the object of her rather awkward affections.

"So when you envision your web design, does anything specific come to mind?" Will asked, his eyebrows raised hopefully as he tapped his pen against the blank third page of his sketchbook. Thus far his adventures with the writing staff of The New Orleans Daily were not going so well. And he was only on his third meeting thus far into the project.

Jane giggled incessantly. Will wondered what he'd said that had even been in the same realm as funny. He couldn't think of anything, but still Jane Benson was _giggling._ And blushing. He wondered what he could do to make her stop.

"Ms. Benson?" he asked, eyeing her warily, hoping that her name wouldn't set her off in giggles again.

"Oh, I don't know." She blushed. She seemed far away in her own mind and yet she was staring into his deep eyes as if lost in them.

Across the table Caroline was stifling her own laughter, at Will's obvious predicament, into her hand while a portly man rambled on to her about how his personal web layout "absolutely could not contain any _girlish_ colors." Needless to say, Caroline was barely listening to her client and instead found herself thoroughly distracted by Will's situation. Will sent her a pleading look across the boardroom they'd hijacked in order to conduct these one-on-one design strategies. This was not the first time they'd come across normally reserved female-professionals loosing their minds after one look at Will Darcy. But even after all this time, Caroline still enjoyed her boss's pain.

Caroline shrugged at him, her eyes dancing in mirth, before finally taking pity on her poor boss and hitting her notebook casually on the table. The slamming noise served its purpose, jarring the portly man from his monologue and Jane from her blushes and giggles.

Jane jumped and looked around the room, as if suddenly realizing where she was. "Er. I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

Will smiled slowly, uncomfortably. "That's ok. I was asking if you had anything specific in mind for the layout of your page."

"Oh!" Jane suddenly perked up and found her interest diverted elsewhere. "Why yes, I have a few ideas." She suddenly reached into her floral printed Vera Bradley bag and pulled out a notebook, laying it carefully on the table, taking careful pains to make sure it was lined up with the edge of the table. "Here are a few sketches I've come up with." She began flipping the pages of her notebook carefully and breezily. "Some ideas for headers. Border designs. Graphics. Things of that nature."

Will's eyes widened in awe. He'd never seen anyone take such initiative on a project. Normally people that expressed themselves predominantly in words barely bothered to consider such things as graphic design.

"May I?" he asked, picking up the notebook and flipping greedily through its twenty-plus pages of ideas. She'd thought through everything, even designated color swabs in her neat handwriting. He'd never been so thoroughly impressed in his life. "These are great. I can't believe you did these."

Jane was blushing again although thankfully she wasn't giggling. "Thanks. I dabble."

Will considered that her ideas proved that this was more than a hobby. She could have been a designer, and he made perfectly sure she knew as much. Little did he know that Jane was just one of those people that thought about things as a big picture. She could take an idea all the way through to its end and she never, never half-assed anything.

Once Jane Benson got something in her mind, it was as good as done and Will Darcy was next on the list.

She blushed even deeper and replied meekly, "Well, I used to work for my school's yearbook." She pushed her glowing blond hair out of her face to reveal her sparkling baby-blues and smiled an award winning smile from her brightly tanned face.

It was like looking into the face of a Vela and Will Darcy no longer had any idea what to think.

* * *

It had been a long two days and Will found himself sleeping with his face pressed against his now bulging sketchbook, drool seeping across its cover while Caroline was out traipsing across the city on a very long lunch-break in search of adequate Chinese food (which was no easy task in New Orleans and she eventually found herself buying instead a roast beef po'boy the length of her arm from a lovely black man with no front teeth named Cletus. She then spent an hour listening to his rather gripping life story before wandering back towards the office lazily).

"Excuse me, Will—Mr. Darcy."

Will jumped about a foot in the air, sending most of his papers that had been scattered across the table flying around the room. "Wassup?" he grumbled, still mildly asleep, before he could even get his bearings.

As Will Darcy blinked multiple times, hoping to settle the burning sensation in his eyes caused by napping with contacts in, the still rather blurry person in front of him laughed softly at the state he was in and stated plainly, "You have a post-it note stuck to your forehead."

Will looked around quickly, hoping to catch sight of the said post-it note, but was thwarted in his efforts upon realizing that the person laughing at his ridiculous antics in front of him was none other than Beth Bennet. He stopped, suddenly realizing where he was, coughed awkwardly and slowly peeled the post-it off his forehead.

"Well I suppose that's one way to not forget to call your mother." She forced a smile at him then bent over to begin gathering Will's papers from the floor.

Will Darcy did the same and as he reached for a couple of the sketches Caroline had handed him before going on her break (Where was that girl? he wondered) he felt his hand brush over Beth's own soft fingers and jumped away as if he had been burned, thus scattering his papers once again.

"I-I'm sorry," he muttered jumping hastily to his feet to get as far away from her as was physically possible, but his efforts to escape were ruined when he slammed his head hard against the underside of the table. "Ow," he groaned, biting back harsher profanities.

"Are you ok?" Beth asked, unable to hide her amusement, but still trying to do so with all her might.

"Yes-yes. Fine." Will climbed slowly back into his seat, holding his head in his hand.

"You seem a bit flustered," Beth pointed out, rising from the floor with the rest of the papers and a grace Will scarcely expected, but appreciated all the more. She looked at him with pity as she set his papers in a haphazard stack on the desk and took the seat beside him. "Do you want me to come back? We can do my consultation later."

"Oh. _Oh!" _ Will quickly began to root through the mess of papers for his sketchbook. "No, no don't come back—"

Beth looked affronted for a moment, but the moment passed quickly without Will noticing before she hid it behind a cool and professional façade.

"—Let's do it now," Will finished, finally pulling his damp book out of the mess and flipping it open to the next blank page. "Your boss has been adamant that each of her columnists has a page that suits their personalities. She wants them highly unique and individualized. So did you have anything in mind for the layout of your page?"

Beth squinted off into space. Will studied the curves of her face, her slightly crinkled eyebrows, her loosely puckered lips, the way she ran her thumb softly over her bottom lip. "Well nothing specific. I was thinking something simple, yet quirky. Classic, but funky. Do you know what I mean?"

Will did not know what she meant. In fact Will had no idea words were even coming out of her mouth. Will was too busy thinking about something… well, something else. Something he very much should not have been thinking.

"Mr. Darc—I mean Will?"

He shook his head quickly, closed his eyes for a moment and put up a façade of his own. He then put his pen to paper and began a quick sketch. "How about something like this?"

Beth leaned over him to get a look at his paper as he drew out a quick layout for her. "That's nice," she commented softly. She was so close to him her breath beat warm across his cheek and he found his attention drifting from the paper and towards her as he finished the sketch and looked over to observe her reaction.

But Beth was not looking at the paper and once Will made eye contact with her, he no longer cared about it either. She was too close for him to think about anything but the gentle smell of strawberries emanating from her hair and the way her green eyes twinkled. "We could… spice it up with some color," Will breathed, slowly drawing closer to her as if about to reach out and touch her.

"Yeah that would be…" And if Will wasn't crazy, he could have sworn that she too was drawing closer to him for a moment. But that moment ended abruptly when Beth pulled back suddenly a mere fraction of an inch. "Listen I've got to… go?" she said as if snapping out of a daze, her voice suddenly higher pitched and brisk.

"Yeah. Ok," Will replied thickly, still in a daze.

"I have a… thing," she said, hastily grabbing her things and rushing away from him. She only looked back for a moment, just before exiting the room, to stare at him in utter bewilderment and frown at him in confusion.

"Oh fuck," Will groaned, once again slamming his head against the table.

* * *

"Charlie, it's me… Will. I'm calling you for like the 100th time. Could you just call me back?" Will muttered into the phone, quickly growing exasperated with his best friend.

"Charlie still won't talk to you?" Caroline asked, smiling triumphantly.

Will shot her a look to kill but she just snickered at his misery and shoved her nose firmly into the air. "Can't say I blame him," she replied snottily. "Even I'm not so dumb to insult his fiancé."

"You called her an ugly cow."

Caroline rolled her eyes. "Yes but not to his face. And that was before I met her."

Will frowned at her slowly. "You mean you actually _like _Beth?" This was a shock beyond normality. Caroline never liked anyone.

Caroline hid her face from view, scared that she might reveal the truth, before looking back at Will having successfully donned her carefully practiced, snooty facial expression. "You should know by now, Willy-dear, that I don't like anyone that isn't suckling at the teat of my own personal power-trip."

Will nodded his assent at her self-centered, self-indulgent adoration while simultaneously gathering a fresh sketchbook and shoving a pencil behind his ear. "Well, Narcissus, I'd love to stay and chat but I have to meet with the heart and soul of Estrogenfest '09."

"Ooh. The Fantastic Five! Best of luck to you, Comrade," Caroline replied saluting Will as he trudged out of the room with a heavy heart.

Crossing the rows of cubicles towards the chosen locale for his meeting with the illustrious female advice columnists was a feat Will considered closely akin to a march towards the gallows. Sure he'd met with and been flirted with, rather painfully, four of the five ladies in question, but it was really the fifth woman that had him dreading the encounter most of all. Or possibly he was looking forward to it. Will Darcy couldn't tell anymore, all he knew was that Beth Bennet affected him in ways that were considered wrong on many levels. On _all_ levels, as a matter of fact.

The door to where the five women were waiting was ajar, held open only for him and he knocked softly from the doorway before crossing through the portal and into the lion's (or lioness's nest, rather) den. "Hello," he stated plainly before drawing up a seat beside the two of the women he considered most harmless, Jane and Mary. "Have you guys been brainstorming ideas as I suggested?" he asked after flipping to a blank page in his book and looking up at the room of semi-dazed women. Only Beth Bennet seemed to be capable of forming full sentences while the other four women drooled all over themselves.

"Um," Beth began awkwardly, flipping through couple of pages in her own notebook and flushing bright crimson, no doubt upon recalling the outcome of her last meeting with Will Darcy. "I was thinking that on top of our individualized designs, we should have a joint page. You know just something that ties together our concept. You know, 'Advice for every aspect of every woman.'"

"Ok," Will replied huskily, trying to keep his concentration on the fact that he was _not _alone with Beth and any indication of his rather peculiar and unethical attraction to the woman would be devastating. "Yeah. That sounds good." He looked up at the ceiling; down at his paper; anywhere but at Beth Bennet.

The room was entirely still while Will began sketching out a concept. Each woman watched him closely, examining his every graceful move, while Beth concentrated particularly on her own fingernails.

"Did you guys have any title ideas in mind yet?" he asked, looking up.

Mary spoke this time, her eyes still locked on Will's broad and (she could only guess) muscled shoulders. "Well we were thinking something catchy that still delegated our concept of a complete female lifestyle. Something for every part of a woman. Like I would be Head."

"Heart," Beth tossed out there casually, still studying her fingernails..

"Health," said Katie.

"Home," Jane blushed.

"And Crotch!" Lydia concluded with a wicked grin.

Katie rolled her eyes and stared at Lydia as if she were obtuse. "Lydia," she groaned. "I think you're missing the point."

"No, Katie," she replied still grinning mischievously and now wiggling her eyebrows as well. "I think _you_ are missing the fucking point."

* * *

Eventually his meeting ended and Will found himself liberated at last with a clear vision of what they wanted for their layout. He took a deep breath of victorious air. Sure the last hour had been awkward and tense, but Lydia had unknowingly helped to abate most of the tension between him and Beth through excessively inappropriate and (he had to admit, after the fact) fairly funny comments.

But it didn't matter now; all that mattered was that that was thankfully the last time he would have to be in a confined space with Beth Bennet. From here on out, he thought as he gathered his belongings, he would do his absolute best to avoid the woman at all times.

"Hey Will," Jane Benson whispered softly beside him. "I was just thinking. You're Best Man in Charlie's wedding, right?"

Will stared back at Jane thoroughly confused, (Charlie? Charlie who? Oh. _That_ Charlie.) before realizing to what Jane was referring and nodding his agreement.

"Well, I'm Bethy's Maid of Honor," she concluded with a grin. "And I was just thinking," the words suddenly flowed quickly from her, faster than he'd ever seen words come from anyone before, "that since we're going to be in the wedding together, perhaps we should spend a bit of time together? You know, like out of the office."

Will stared at her, his eyes insanely wide.

"You know, with Beth and Charlie of course," she tacked on lamely, scared out of actually asking him out by the look of pure terror on his face. "Don't you think that's a good idea, Beth?" she asked across the room to where Beth was still lingering in her chair gathering her things.

Beth stared back at Jane, just as wide-eyed as Will.

"Bethy?" Jane pleaded desperately but still subtly, looking for an escape route. "Don't you think it'd be a great idea for the four of us to hang out?"

"Oh." Beth jumped back to life, realizing what her friend wanted. "Yes," she forced herself to smile and lied through her teeth. "A great idea."

* * *

A/n: Sorry it took so long!


	6. Chapter 5: Here Comes Your Man

_**So Predictable**_

"To get the full value of joy  You must have someone to divide it with."  

-Mark Twain

_Chapter 5: Here Comes Your Man_

"So um, this is exciting, yeah? This is, like, really, really exciting."

Beth, as hard as she might try, could not seem to get the stench of awkward silence out of her car. She shot a series of brief looks at her passenger seat before quickly forcing her attention back out her windshield.

"I guess so," Will Darcy replied with effort.

"Yep. Super exciting!" she replied, forcing herself to sound chipper. Beth wished there was a way she didn't look like as big of an idiot as she felt. She took a deep breath, watching the traffic before her and trying to calm herself. She was slightly reassured by the absurdity of her predicament. It wasn't everyday one ended up stuck in a car with one's fiancé's rather attractive best friend. Who may or may not have actually been her soul mate. That thought made her laugh audibly.

"What's so funny?" Will asked, finally paying her mind and quitting his preoccupation of staring decidedly out of the window.

"What? Nothing's funny."

"You laughed."

Beth blushed to the roots of her hair. In truth she was laughing at the absurdity of the idea of William Darcy being her soul mate. So what if he had that name (_the_ name)! Beth had told herself ten thousand times after visiting Madame Zulu that she didn't believe in all that crap anyway. It was still a hock of bullshit even if she was having rather inappropriate feelings for one King of Hearts. Plus, the idea of her soul mate being a man that couldn't even manage a civil conversation with her. Not to mentioned his rather obvious hatred towards her…

"It's nothing. I was just thinking that it would be kind of funny if you started dating Jane," she lied.

"Why would that be funny?"

Beth kind of wanted to scream. _Definitely, definitely not my soul mate,_ she concluded.

"I dunno. I guess because you're like Best Man and she's Maid of Honor."

"Oh. Yeah. I guess that's funny?" Will turned his attention back out of the passenger-side window of her car.

Beth took another deep breath, hoping to delay the awkward silence that was wafting quickly into the confined space. "Listen, I'm actually really glad you agreed to Charlie's little carpooling shenanigan."

"He didn't really give me a choice."

"Oh."

"Charlie hasn't exactly been _happy_ with me lately."

Beth blushed to her roots again and gripped the steering wheel guiltily. She had surmised that Charlie was still rather angry with Will over his comments made with regards to her. "Well, whatever the circumstances. I was kind of hoping we could use this as an opportunity to get to know each other."

Will didn't say anything, just continued to beat his breath against the window.

"I mean, I know we got off to a bad start or whatever. But since we're going to be working together and I'm marrying your best friend we could at least _try_ to get along."

Will was still too preoccupied to pay her much heed.

Beth found herself quickly growing exasperated. No, not exasperated. Beth was getting pretty pissed off. "Listen, I really am a good person! I don't know what I did to piss you off so bad!"

Will slowly lifted his forehead from the window and took a deep, drawing breath. "It's not you, Beth. Really."

Beth was still fuming, gripping the steering wheel as if it was Will's neck.

Will took another deep breath, preparing to do some damage control. "Look, I'm sorry. I've just kind of been going through my own… issues lately." He raked a hand angrily through his hair and Beth wished desperately that she knew what he was thinking.

"Do you, um, do you want to talk about it?" she asked tenderly, still gripping the steering wheel with alacrity.

Will shook his head eagerly. "It's not the kind of stuff you talk about," he muttered as Beth pulled into the parking lot and subsequently a parking space.

"Are you sure?" She asked turning off the car but not moving from her seat. "I mean, you're Charlie's best friend and yet I feel like I know nothing about you."

"Yeah, yeah." Will unbuckled quickly and hastily stood from the car. "Let's just get this over with," he muttered rushing into the restaurant to meet Charlie and Jane with Beth following huffily in his wake.

* * *

"So I'm going down this ski-slope at like 1,000 miles an hour and all I can do is just, like, grip my poles in my hands as hard as I can and pray to God. Meanwhile people are like shouting at me anything you can imagine. Some people are telling me to fall and others are just cheering for me. I felt kind of like I was racing for a gold medal, but really I was just trying not to break my neck!"

"So what happened?" Charlie asked, staring at Jane Benson with wide-eyes completely in awe of her story.

Jane grinned and set her wine glass down on the table. "I don't know. Apparently when I fell I knocked myself unconscious. But hey! I'm not dead yet!"

"That's a great story." Charlie laughed appreciatively while smiling in disbelief at Beth, who returned the forced smile with a nod. "Wasn't that a great story, Will?" Charlie asked pointedly, snapping Will out of whatever planet he had been visiting throughout most of dinner.

"Huh?"

"Jane's story? Wasn't it great?" Charlie led with a forced smile that seemed to say "stop being such a dick-wad" more than it conveyed happiness with his best friend.

"Yep. Great story, Jane. I hope that all worked out for you."

Jane frowned. "Actually I had to get 13 stitches."

"That's really interesting," Will replied, zoning back into outer space quickly.

"Well I thought it was a good story," Charlie encouraged a slightly confused Jane. "Didn't you, Bethy?"

"Oh yes. Just beautiful, Jane," Beth replied trying desperately to keep the mockery out of her tone. Personally, Beth had found the story somewhat obnoxious the first thirty times she'd heard it. She'd spent the entire time contemplating whether or not Darcy was a vampire.

Charlie rewarded her lie with a gentle peck and a line of endearment while Jane's frown deepened slightly.

"How has work been going for you guys?" Charlie asked, picking up a new conversation as if scripting the conversation, just as he'd done throughout the entire meal as everyone sipped at the remnants of their second bottle of wine.

Jane's face brightened into her normal illuminating grin. "Things are going really great for me. I'm really excited to share more ideas with Will about my web page. I think it's going to go really well."

Beth tried to hide a smile at Jane's eagerness. "Yeah, I hear Will's a genius with this stuff. It'll be kind of cool to see the finished project."

"See, Willy-boy? The ladies are singing your praises!" Charlie cheered, once again snapping Will out of his reverie.

Will looked up at his friend with a slight frown on his lips. "What about you, Charlie? Have you made a decision about the new job?"

"What?" Beth asked, her interest suddenly very piqued. "What job?"

Charlie suppressed a groan and shot his friend daggers before turning to his fiancé. "I was offered a new job."

"That's gr—"

"In Boston."

"Oh." Beth felt all the happiness she felt over Charlie's promotion drain quickly out of her. "When was this offered?"

Charlie took another deep breath and responded in a small voice, "Two weeks ago?"

"What?" Beth was shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think it was a big deal."

"Why not?"

"Because obviously I can't move to Boston right now. I want to be here. With you," Charlie finished with a grin, leaning in to kiss his fiancé, but she was having none of it.

"So what? You just weren't going to tell me? Like I'm some sort of idiot that can't stand to—"

"Wow! Is it getting late or what?" Jane jumped in, interrupting Beth's tirade. "Will, do you need a ride home?"

Will had been riveted on the conversation going on before his eyes, as if watching a live performance of his favorite TV show. He jumped at being addressed by Jane, having forgotten momentarily that Jane was even present. "What?"

Charlie shot his best friend another murderous glare before turning back to his angry significant other as she stood form the table and rushed from the restaurant. "Great. Thanks, Will," he growled before throwing some money on the table and rushing from the restaurant after her.

Jane grinned at Will meekly and hopefully. "So I guess you _will _be needing that ride then."

* * *

Once again, Beth wished she could just jump out of a moving car.

"How was work today?" she asked, unable to handle the tension any longer.

"Fine."

Beth couldn't take it any longer! Will Darcy was moodier than an angry teenager! "Listen, jackass. Could you at least be civil for like one minute?"

Will turned from his window and for a brief and shining moment their eyes met. Beth, once again, found herself entirely disoriented. She felt like she was sitting on the ceiling. As if her stomach was going to burst into flames. As if every inch of her skin was prickling with unknown sensations.

How could he do that? How could he be a total jackass for an entire three days straight of rather painful carpooling and then suddenly flip every thought, every impression she had of him, completely upside-down with one brief look. What was this power he had over her? It was as if Will Darcy had put a spell on her.

Will looked quickly back out his window. "I'm sorry," he muttered against the glass.

Beth ran her thumb over her lip and tried to regain her breath without allowing him to realize she'd lost it in the first place. "You're sorry?" she asked, breathily, her attention entirely on him, still caught up in that look.

"It's green."

"What?"

He looked back at her and there was… nothing. His eyes were completely and totally empty. "The light. It's green."

"Oh!" she jumped and pressed the gas quickly, her attention snapping back toward the road. The few remaining blocks to Charlie's house were spent in silence, for once not of the awkward variety, as both the car's occupants struggled to grasp what had just happened.

Beth parallel parked quickly, but had scarcely set the gear to park before Will Darcy had grabbed his messenger bag and leapt from the car, scampering into Charlie's house as if someone had pulled a gun on him.

Beth, however, took her time. Slowly turning off the car and gathering her things in order to allow herself proper time to regain her composure. What had happened? It had been nearly ten minutes ago and yet she still couldn't get her wits about her. For the hundredth time she called Madame Zulu's prediction to mind, before excusing it as absurdity.

Maybe it was time, she finally decided as she walked slowly towards the front door of Charlie's house, she stayed as far as was humanly possible from Will Darcy before things got entirely too weird for her to comprehend.

"Hey, Bethy! Is that you?" she heard the cheery voice of her fiancé call from the kitchen. She dropped all of her belongings on a table in the entrance room before treading across the squeaky wood floors towards Charlie's loving, and very non-confusing, arms.

"Hey, beautiful. How was your day?" he asked, turning to her with a wooden spoon covered in sauce in hand and a grin on his face.

"Fine," she said, smiling in relief. Because this—this was easy. Wasn't that how it was _supposed _to be? She crossed the room and quickly kissed him before peering into the giant pot that sat before him on the stove. "Whatcha got there?"

"My world famous Jambalaya. Wanna taste?" he asked, dipping the spoon into the pot and holding it out for her to taste. She did obligingly and groaned in happiness as she tasted his family's classic concoction.

"Mmm. Soo good!" she moaned grabbing the spoon from him to scoop out another bite. "God, I'm gonna miss this when you're gone."

Charlie smiled sadly. "Remind me again why I'm going?" he asked, grabbing the spoon from her and setting it down on the counter before trapping her body against the counter and running his hand softly through her dark curls.

She pouted as he began to kiss her ear, nibbling her earlobe softly. "Because it's good for your career," she protested while he made his way across the line of her jaw with his lips. "And because I'll love you no matter where you are."

"Mm," he replied against her skin. "But we can't do this from Boston."

Beth giggled as he lightly licked his tongue over her clavicle. "Yes, that I'm going to miss too."

Charlie pulled back slightly. "More than my Jambalaya?"

Beth grinned and shook her head. "No, I'll miss the Jambalaya more. It is, after all, the reason I'm marrying you."

Charlie bent his head closer to her again, inching towards her lips. "You sure about that?" he asked jokingly, his breath caressing her lips.

"Ew," a third voice interrupted them from the doorway. Caroline stood there, her lip raised in disgust, while Will stood beside her examining the wood floor closely, his face beating a deep shade of crimson.

"You two disgust me," Caroline said, shaking her head at the pair of them while Charlie's head fell against Beth's shoulder and he shook with laughter.

Will looked up slowly, begrudgingly, and over Charlie's shoulder Beth caught a glimpse of his face that racked her with improbable and puzzling guilt.

"Get a room," Caroline growled, leaving the doorway and dragging a horrified William Darcy with her.


End file.
